I look out in front of me, but I can’t really see beyond. All I know is that it’s an endless corridor and I can only go in one direction.  As I proceed on, I notice I’m alone in this place. The hours that follow are increasingly tenuous putting a strain on my mind as well as my body. I get to a clock.  In three hours, I will have five hours left of school.  I sit on a chair that’s bigger for me, probably meant for someone else.  I can see clearly from where I sit, but somehow write all of the wrong things. Either I’m too smart or not enough, but I never have a place where I actually fit it. 

            I’m constantly told by many, who I’m sure care, that there is no question that I will succeed.  I know that false hope will get me nowhere.  Building a house out of stick and calling it a brick one.  I got low at one point, didn’t trust anyone.  Constantly passed off my achievements as petty milestones, but like an arrow, being pulled to its absolute max, I realized the only way to propel forward is to let go.

 

            I always wanted to make a difference.  It’s a hard thing when you don’t know where to start.  I wasn’t even sure that I could make a difference but trying is better than knowing that you didn’t do anything at all.  I began to really apply myself in classes that I loved to pursue.  To do well in class is hard when you are a perfectionist.  The biggest thing I had to overcome was my self-doubt. I've been making excuses for myself for a long time now a lot of it has to do with the fact that I have two homes but if you look at it really I couldn't possibly be the only one in school who has a broken home. To be able to let go, I had to block out my inner voice that kept telling me I couldn’t do all that I wanted. In a way I was my biggest enemy not some bully at school, drugs, or alcohol. I had to take responsibility for that. I am my own problem. I'll succeed or fail on my own, but I wasn’t alone.

 

             My mom and her experiences have influenced me to be who I am and what I want to do so with that I realized that I have a knack for making up stories.  I see myself sitting around a medium size desk etching characters and bringing them to life.  I recently read a book by Ray Bradburry.  His use of words to convey a scene placed me in another world where the letters on the page became tangible.  This is what I want to do for others.  I want others to see the world through my eyes as I have begun to see the world through his. My ultimate goal is to walk into a store and see one of my published pieces.   Perhaps my writing will help someone else overcome his or her fears too.